The Beauty of Singleness: A Christian Professional’s Perspective
Singleness is often misunderstood, but for me, it means living a life of purpose, peace, and fulfillment. It is a season of growth, self-discovery, and embracing God’s best without settling for less. It is waking up with joy and going to bed with contentment.
Putting Myself on a Pedestal – The Right Way
Growing up, I watched my mother put others first. She honored and elevated people who, rather than cherishing her kindness, took it for granted. I unknowingly adopted that mindset. In my past marriage, I placed my husband on a pedestal, prioritizing his happiness over my own. If you’ve read my book Fiery Proof Woman, you already know how that ended.
But experience has taught me a valuable lesson: the only one who belongs on my pedestal is me—under God’s grace. Every day, I celebrate my achievements, speak words of affirmation to myself, and refuse to measure my worth by others’ standards. I have learned the power of saying no, treating myself well, and valuing my own journey. Occasionally, I think someone deserves to share my pedestal, but only briefly. I no longer elevate people beyond what they have proven themselves worthy of.
Riding the Waves of Life
For years, I held onto painful memories, afraid that past disappointments would repeat themselves. It was like standing at the shoreline, terrified of being knocked down by another wave. But one day, I ventured out deeper and learned to ride the waves rather than be consumed by them.
Every painful experience has been a lesson. My most difficult moments refined me into a bold, self-assured, and resilient woman. I have learned to take what was meant for harm and turn it into something good (Genesis 50:20). Even my worst seasons have produced my best growth.
That’s why I don’t dwell on the past—I learn from it. Many were shocked when I attended my ex-husband’s wedding. They knew the pain I endured. But I had long forgiven him, learned from the experience, and moved on. Whether in romantic relationships or life’s challenges, I use my past as a guide, not as a prison.
Living a Life Worth Admiring
I don’t sit around waiting for a relationship to start living. I pursue my dreams, grow professionally, and invest in my passions. I am always sharpening my skills, learning new things, and embracing opportunities for growth. I read, write, travel, and spend time with those I love. When I meet potential partners, I want to know what they have done with their lives—and I expect to answer the same question with confidence.
Too many people delay their purpose, waiting for a relationship before pursuing their goals. Sadly, by the time they find someone, they’ve wasted precious years of health, youth, and opportunity. A meaningful life does not begin with a romantic partner—it begins with you and your God-given purpose.
Optimistic About Love and Life
Despite past heartbreaks, I remain hopeful about love and life. I don’t believe the world is flawed, only that some people are wounded and have yet to heal. I choose to focus on goodness, love, and joy, knowing that our thoughts shape our reality (Proverbs 23:7). If you constantly expect dishonesty, you will find it. But if you believe in the beauty of life, you will see it all around you.
Reframing My Thoughts & Disqualifying Opinions
I used to overthink everything. But I have learned to quiet the noise, reframe negative thoughts, and embrace the present moment. When doubts creep in, I remind myself: I am stronger than I give myself credit for. A friend once told me, “Mightier men have fallen from lesser battles than the ones you have overcome.” I carry that truth with me.
I’ve also learned that people’s opinions hold no real value unless I give them power. Criticism, gossip, or judgment do not define me. My worth is anchored in God, not in what others think.
Keeping Busy and Embracing My Calling
I have a full, vibrant life. I am a professional, a writer, a speaker, a community leader, and a woman of faith. My days are filled with purpose, and I love it that way. When my marriage ended, I felt lost—I had poured so much into that relationship that I forgot who I was. But I rebuilt my life, filled it with passion and purpose, and now I cherish my independence.
Too often, relationships fail because one person has no personal fulfillment outside of their partner. But when both people bring full, meaningful lives to the table, a relationship becomes a partnership rather than a dependency.
No Room for Boredom or Loneliness
I do not feel bored or lonely. I am not desperate for companionship. I am selective, knowing that my value is not diminished by being single. If anything, my singleness is a testimony to my self-worth. I refuse to settle for less than God’s best.
Some may wonder about my relationship status, but I find joy in being a mystery. A woman who knows her worth is intriguing, and I embrace that with confidence.
Final Thoughts
Singleness is not a waiting room—it is a season of purpose, adventure, and growth. I live life to the fullest, unburdened by societal expectations. If the right person comes along, they will find me thriving, not waiting. But until then, I stand firm in my faith, my purpose, and my joy.
To every single woman reading this: You are enough. You are whole. And you are worthy of a life filled with joy, purpose, and love—whether or not you ever say “I do.”
“Things that make my heart sing.”